She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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