Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
