Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
