with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
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i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We left the knife in your bed.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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