Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
