She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
They took my balls.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Randomize
