oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
