so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
