The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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