Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
