OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize