I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
