While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
