I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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