We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
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Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
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I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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