And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Terrible idea I love it
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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