He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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