Porn is love you can see.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
