Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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