what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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