So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
