they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
