I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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