that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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