theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
