She said her name was "party"
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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