is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
