He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
