there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
