so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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