how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
