Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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