she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize