im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You made out with two different species that night
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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