I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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