no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Floor bacon is actually really good
FUCK WHALES
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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