you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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