so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
