1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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