No stitches, just platelets and will power
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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