New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
