I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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