Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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