So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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