Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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