So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
