But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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