Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
