With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
