pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We left the knife in your bed.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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