I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
