At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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