So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My feet surprised me
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
