I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
