So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
