drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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