i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
