After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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