last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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