it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
