Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
